The World We Knew
by Watson-A-Name92
Summary: During a patrol after leaving Haven, Cullen and Cassandra come across a group of people inches from death. One turns out to be Solona Amell. They take them in and Cullen manages to convince himself that Amell's presence in the Inquisition is tactical, but too many things have gone unsaid between them for it to be just that. The trick's trying to deal with that and the new threat.
1. Chapter 1

Things had been far too quiet on the trip from Haven. It had been chaos at first for the first couple of miles, then there had been dead silence. Cullen knew it was out of fear. That and apprehension and loss- it was hardly unwarranted.

But then they had set up camp and the Inquisitor-Rhia, he corrected. She had asked him to call her ages ago- hadn't shown up yet, and there was even more fear that drove the silence. If she failed… well, no one wanted to dwell on what was to come. But then she had shown up around the corner, coated in snow and half dead. It wasn't much of a relief to many, but they took it.

The song that the survivors had sung hadn't done spirits much good, but it was enough. People rested relatively easily that night. Their savior was alive although hurt, they were miles away from apparent danger, and the snow was enough cover from smaller dangers.

He had kept watch the entire night, despite Cassandra and Leliana trying to take over for him. He had insisted he should stay since he was still wide awake from the fight and it was the brains of the operation that needed to be rested and weary the next morning. He had a feeling even they knew that wasn't entirely true. Of course, was fear that something like that had passed in the Circle would happen again. The abomination- Corypheus, he reminded himself again. An abomination was an abomination but there was no point in unnaming him and therefore reducing his threat- had wrecked Haven. Upon seeing him, Cullen had been brought back to That Day. When Darkness ruled and its cause had the same face as the latest monster. No matter how many times he would insist that he wasn't, he was still that scared recruit who had been the only one besides Irving to walk out of the heart of the fire.

He was still awake and hyper-aware early in the morning when Cassandra had come to check on him. She had all but dragged him out from under the rock outcropping he had settled beneath. He apparently "needed to clear his head" and "breathe cleaner air." He wasn't sure how either of those worked under the circumstances, but he had agreed and had a small band of soldiers accompany them, planning to train them to keep them on their toes later.

They had made it down to the river not far from camp when they had stopped. Cassandra had been giving him a look that was half uncertainty, half pity and Cullen was ready to lay into her about not needing either of it when something had caught her eye behind him.

He turned to see what it was, and upon seeing wreckage floating in the water, his heart sunk. It wasn't from Haven, but at this rate, with the abomination's powers, it could've been from any other evil they caused. Or any of the other rifts that had scattered. Far too many people had died these last few weeks over all of this. They watched the wreckage get closer and closer, too moved to say anything or do anything- and then one of the larger boards in the wreckage and his heart practically stopped in general since there were bodies scattered around the water behind it.

And he _knew_ one of those bodies.

It was a woman. She had long, fiery red hair, she was unhealthily thin, long, triangular face, pale skin that was paler visibly blue from the cold and potential death.

_No. _

"AMELL!"

He wasn't even aware he had run for the river-let alone called her name until he was shin deep in it and he had heard Cassandra yelling for him.

"-What are you doing? They're dead! They have to be!" Cassandra called, but her voice barely reached his ears.

"Cassandra- the soldiers who were with us- get them, now! Have them help me!" he called. He struggled against the current for a moment, then caught sight of where she had drifted to. He caught another drifted around the elbow and pushed off another piece of rubble to get to her. He lunged at the last minute, somehow managing to get footing on the river floor and tossing an arm around her middle at the same time. He yanked her upright to lean against him, and he tried not to let shock take over when he saw two arrows sticking out of her abdomen. "No. No no no no no…" he made his way over to the bank and dropped Amell and her potential companion before going in again. The fact that the soldiers he had called for had finally shown up and were scrambling to get the other three bodies out did little to settle his nerves. He got the remaining straggler and deposited him on the bank before crawling to Amell's side. He lifted her to survey the damage. Both hits had gone through, arrow and everything. She had lost a great deal of blood already, but most of the evidence had washed away. He turned to the small party of soldiers behind them and pointed to one. "Alert the healers that we have more people coming. Now."

The man nodded and ran off.

Cassandra watched him go, then turned back. "Cullen, they are unfortunate souls, probably dead. We have our own people to-"

"She is not some unfortunate soul, she's the Hero of Ferelden, and if she's alive we need her- and these people if they were in her party," Cullen growled.

Cassandra frowned. "This is the Hero of…? _This_ is Solona Amell?" Cassandra asked.

Cullen paid her no heed this time. He turned Solona on her side and hesitated briefly before snapping the arrowheads off. He pulled the shafts out a moment later, then looked her over. His heart sunk again. He could barely even bring himself to check if she was living for fear of finding out she wasn't. He reached to hold his hand over her mouth- any other ways might have undone him then and there. And for the first time in a long time, he was relieved. She was barely breathing- the sensation of breath on his hand was slight at best, but it was there. "Check the others."

After a few moments, one of the soldiers chimed in. "Two dead, three breathing, Ser."

"Take them all back to camp with us then," Cullen replied before he hoisted Solona up into his arms. She was dead weight, too. Everything was wrong about this. So wrong, but he refused to give up just yet. Not when so much had happened- so much had gone unsaid.

"And if these men are the ones who did this to her?" Cassandra countered, moving so the soldiers could get the other bodies settled.

"Then we'll keep them separated," Cullen countered.

"Cull-"

"Would you rather we do nothing? Not give the Hero a chance? Her presence could be an advantage," Cullen cut her off. He adjusted his hold on Solona and kept moving.

"And if these others wake first?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

* * *

><p>It had been a quiet day after the commotion that came with dragging the Warden back to the camp. The survivors were terrified that such a legend had been brought down, but now they had another savior on their side, according to the healers that had insisted they could restore her to health since she was a healer herself- it would just take time.<p>

When Cullen had heard that she was going to survive it, Cullen had far too many emotions than he would've liked. Relief that someone else who could bring their cause great success was going to persevere and hopefully stick with them, anger at whoever had attacked her to begin with, and then there was bitterness at himself for doubting that she could survive before. And on top of that, there was guilt, especially when the healers had noted Solona's healing energy still doing a decent job at preserving her. The last time he had seen her he had been furious and destroyed and she had the nerve to look at him with even more pity than people had given him later. Even after Solona and her companions had checked in with everyone before they left the Circle after destroying it, he had yelled at her, accused her of wanting to hurt people, just like so many of the mages he had seen. He had called her destructive. Her, the one who had used her magic to heal people- whether it was a simple papercut on a mage apprentice's finger they had gotten, or a Templar recruit who had gashed his arm open during a training exercise. She used her powers to help people because that's what she enjoyed doing- she had told him as much years before, and he had thrown that all back in her face. She had claimed to understand, considering that she had seen and heard what he had been through, but it still wasn't enough.

He was going to have to repent for being so vile to her. And now he had a chance. And that terrified him too.

He had been so caught up in his own mind that he had isolated himself when most of the survivors- notably from Ferelden started up another celebration that their Hero was here and their hero was going to help the new one. Something in him twisted at the thought that she might have wanted to be done with any conflict if she had almost died. Another part of him vehemently denied that. She had seen the slaying of the Archdemon through, she would probably want to see this through as well. He had to hold onto that hope. So when the celebration was going on, he retreated to the healer's tent to check on her recovery.

When he reached the tent and pulled back the flap to get an update, he was surprised to find Leliana sitting on a rock beside Solona's cot, holding the woman's hand, simply watching her- and, to Cullen's relief, the slow rise and fall of her chest- that was the best sign they had so far. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were… I could-"

"No, stay," Leliana offered. "'Lona was a dear friend to me and I know she would do the same if I was in her place," she replied. "And… if I remember correctly, you called her friend as well, so it's only fair we could share this time."

Cullen flinched. "I don't think she would allow me that title anymore…"

Leliana scooted over on the rock and patted it. He hesitated again, then sat down. "I'm sorry, and I'm sure you don't want to dwell on that time, but… what happened did not deter what she thought of you. She told me so much once. I was there too, you know. She wasn't angry at your reaction to your… misfortune. She was upset. Even afterwards, she wanted to go back to the Circle numerous times to check on you, check on the First Enchanted, but we hadn't the time. She was adamant that you were friends."

"I didn't deserve that friendship. I still don't," Cullen countered. Yes, he had forgotten he had seen Leliana in passing all those years ago. She had been quiet, understanding. No wonder he could tolerate her even now over the others.

"She's the forgiving type," Leliana offered.

That got another scoff, but it was somehow a grateful one at that. "Yes, I hope so…"

They were silent again for a while until the tent flap opened. They turned to look at who had joined them. Varric offered a wave of greeting, then turned his attention to Solona. "Shit, Curly, you weren't exaggerating when you said Hawke looked like the Warden. No wonder you got all bug-eyed the first time you met her" he realized. "I woulda thought it was her had I not-" he stopped short.

Cullen caught the backpedal. "Secrets already, Dwarf? Usually the trick's getting you to shut up."

Varric coughed, then laughed. "Well, what can I say? I'm a storyteller. And well uh, maybe there's something that I should tell you, considering our latest problem. You're less likely to hit me over it than Cassandra, anyway…"

"And why would I hit you?" came Cassandra's voice from outside of the tent. A couple of moments later, she joined them as well.

Cullen glanced back at Varric, and when the dwarf looked guilty at being caught in whatever was about to be revealed, he had a sudden feeling that being with injured and dying while having this conversation was a bad idea. He rose to his feet, and Leliana did the same, apparently having a similar thought. "Are you sure you want to have this talk here?" he offered.

Varric gave him a pleading look and Cassandra ignored him.

The latter paused. "Hold on. I heard you mention the Champion's name- and then you hesitated…"

Varric looked petrified, and even Cullen saw the wheels in Cassandra's head going. Even he didn't exactly mind when Varric took a cautious step beside him- then behind him. He was a human shield now. And then he realized he was a human shield _against Cassandra_. Perfect. He was going to have at least one broken bone after this.

"You told me you didn't know where she was!" Cassandra hissed.

Varric stepped a little further behind Cassandra. "Well, cat's out of the bag, it's a need-to-know now, and Bianca's half a camp away. Yeah, Hawke… missing … … about that…"


	2. Chapter 2

It had been three days since they had found Solona and the healers were still working. Her breathing was steadier, but that was all. Her companions weren't far off, but their life force was apparently more prominent. The healers insisted they would come too first. Cullen wasn't sure whether or not that as a good thing. He needed answers to who they were first. They were a matter of hours away from Skyhold now, and if the others meant trouble, it would just end in- well, evem more disaster than they were facing.

They had set up camp for the night once again when Rhia had come to their small set-up. Cullen smiled weakly at her when she came around the corner. "Come to see the Hero too, then?"

Rhia cracked a smile. "Yeah. Would've done it sooner but now everyone needs- Maker!" her smile dropped.

"What?" Cullen asked. He stood slowly, then frowned as he realized it wasn't Solona she was looking at. It was one of her companions, the larger of the two men. "Do-"

"This is my brother," she replied, but didn't look at him. "He's a scrapper, so whatever- whoever did… all this meant business." She pushed past him and knelt before the man. "Does anyone know who did this? Did Solas identify the arrows in her or anything?" she winced sympathetically when he gave a flinch of his own at reliving seeing her skewered. "Sorry, I just- if we could get a lead with any of that… my brother and the others clearly weren't hit, but…"

"No such luck. Why would a noble be with Amell?" Cullen asked.

Rhia shook her head. "Dirk… doesn't like being a noble so that wouldn't matter," she explained.

"Dirk?" Cullen asked. "Your brother is named… after a dagger?"

"His name's Derrickanos. He's the one that shortened it to that. When you're bitter about being a noble and you have a name like that, you change it any way you can."

"Derrickanos?" Cullen repeated and arched an eyebrow.

Rhia pointed at herself. "Then I suppose now's a great time to tell you my name's Rhianamae. I'm a syllable away from being a walking corpse. But, with our parents, so long as everything around them sounds fancy, they're in better graces with rich compatriots."

Cullen laughed despite himself. "They did seem unbearably pretentious when you made me go inform them you were alright."

"Yes, sorry about that as well," she replied, then turned her attention to Solona. "And what's her story, then? And your part in it, since you were... apparently pretty upset that you found her." When he seemed to search for words, she understood. "Oh, she's from _back then_. What you don't like to talk about. Got it." When he still looked upset, she grinned. "Tell me you shagged the Hero of Ferelden. Tell me."

Now that got to him. He all but gawked at her. She had been respectful and interested since they had met, so what prompted that? "I did no such thing!"

"Pined after her, then? You look… pine-y."

He scoffed. "Feeling like we crossed into friend territory then?" he countered. "In that case you and Blackwall seem quite cozy with each other."

"Maybe we are. Was that the deal with you and her?"

Cullen went to object again, then sighed. She had been a friend, and their situation left little room for secrets. They had learned that a couple of nights ago when Varric had come clean about knowing where Hawke had been all the time she was 'missing.' "I- no- not… exactly."

Rhia leaned back and looked interested. Cullen rolled his eyes. "Fine. There might have been some foolish, misguided, beyond inappropriate-" he stopped short when there was a low, tired moan to his right. His head shot in that direction and sure enough, Solona's eyes had started to flutter. "Amell?!" he nearly tripped over his own feet in the process of trying to kneel in front of her.

"I'll get the healers- and Leliana," Rhia offered before stepping out quickly.

Solona opened her eyes halfway and stared at Cullen. After a beat, she yelped and shot upright, grabbing at her stomach, making tiny whimpers as she did so.

Cullen reached to grab her hands. "It's okay, it's me- it's Cullen from the Circle. You're safe, we- the Inquisition found you and brought you back to our…. Hold."

Solona stopped her movements, but still breathed heavy. After another couple of moments she seemed to realize he was still holding her, but hadn't put together who it was. She looked at him again, and Cullen wasn't sure if it was shock or confusion. Maybe both. "Cullen?!" she breathed.

"Amell…" Cullen nodded, then went to continue, then was stunned himself when the next thing he knew, she had launched herself at him. She managed to get one arm locked around his neck before her lack of muscle mass caught up to her and she started to fall. He awkwardly slung one arm around her waist. "What-"

"You're okay… you're alive… you're not…" she began.

Cullen blinked rapidly for a moment before easing her back onto the cot. A hug wasn't at all what he expected to be the first thing that would happen during their reunion. Then again, neither were those words when she was the one who had been mere inches from death a matter of hours ago. "Why would I not be? I should be asking if you are."

Solona swallowed hard, then curled in on herself.

Cullen leaned forward. "Talk to me- please. Who did this to you?"

Solona glanced over at Dirk's cot. "He wasn't the only survivor, was he?"

Cullen motioned behind her at the other two who had made it. Well, at least that made it sound like they were all on her side. "Two more are… relatively alright, but there are also two dead. Why was your first concern about me when it should be your condition that you'd be more interested in?"

She turned to check on her companions, then sighed and turned back. "There was an… attack. My friends and I got ambushed- I mean I guess it was intentional to a point, since we were trying to spring those traps for Grey Wardens, but then… we got ambushed by Templars. We were wide open-"

"Templars?" Cullen questioned, stomach turning at the memory of just who had attacked Haven initially. "They did that to you? You've taken on bewitched Templars by the dozen and they managed this?!" he felt bad when she flinched. "I'm sorry, I just- we've had an encounter with rogue Templars ourselves, and... it ended badly. What happened with yours?"

"There was something wrong with them, Cullen, I couldn't tell what, but… they were stronger. More powerful, more resilient. Something was very, very wrong."

"Were they red? Were there... monsters in their ranks?" Cullen asked.

After a moment, Solona nodded. I'm just… whatever it was… I feel-I sense hasn't affected you, and I'm… relieved, to say the least. As far as being able to fight them off successfully… well, the stories you heard and lived were ten years ago."

Cullen looked at her, then looked down when he realized he essentially implied she was weak against them. "I didn't mean- that wasn't-"

"I know…" Solona assured him.

The door opened behind them, and Rhia, one of the healers and Cassandra bustled in.

"That was fast," Solona sighed.

"We weren't alone. Rhia…" Cullen began, then motioned at the brunette, who waved lightly. "Was checking on you as well. She heard you get up first, then ran to get the others."

Solona nodded carefully. "Help me up, will you?" she muttered.

Cullen offered his arm immediately and she used it to pull herself up. Cullen went to release her, but she dug her fingers into his arm for good measure and he stilled before merely easing his grip on her. "Rhia, is it? That would make you Rhia Trevelyan then, the Herald of Andraste. The new me."

Rhia nodded. "Sounds about right."

Solona looked at Dirk. "And that would also make you…"

"His little sister, yes."

"He's a good man. Last one to go down with…" Solona gestured around. "Well, this."

Cassandra looked between the group when a silence passed, then bowed. "Warden Amell, I am Cassandra Pentaghast. We are all part of the Inquisition here, and based on your track record-"

"Let me save you the trouble. Yes, I'll help you. Finding your people was the next step in our plan anyway. And please, don't bow to me. You don't need to. It's Katryn Cousland you would need to bow to out of us Wardens- and she hates it too," Solona replied. "And you can call me Solona. Titles are overrated these days."

Cullen wanted to gawk at her. She had never interrupted people. Ever. Times had changed. She had changed. They all had changed. He just hoped it was for the better.

Cassandra opened her mouth briefly, then nodded and straightened out.

Rhia, on the other hand, beamed and crossed her arms over her chest. "See? It's a humility thing. Not an embarrassed thing."

The other woman shot her a glare, then turned her attention back to Solona. "Formality aside, you will still need to be briefed on our current threat."

"I'm sure I can provide information on other smaller ones that may interfere, too," Solona offered. "But… I may just… need a while," she ran her hand over her stomach idly.

Cassandra nodded, then turned on her heel and left.

Rhia, on the other hand spared one last glance in her brother's direction before looking between the remaining two. When she saw Solona turn at the right moment, she grinned, gave Cullen a thumbs up, and darted for the door before he could even growl and go slam it in her face… or escape himself. He liked her well enough, but now he was paranoid they had just gotten into one of those sibling-esque friendships, and another Mia was the last thing he needed in times like these. He was lost in his thoughts again when he realized she was noticeably absent from his arm again. He turned, worried he had caused her to slip away, only to find she was the one who had let go and was headed back to her cot. "Can I… get you… anything?" he asked, then flinched at how awkward it came out.

"I'm fine," Solona replied. "So… how long before the entire camp knows that you have the big Hero of Ferelden here with you?"

Cullen laughed nervously. "I'm afraid… they already do. Part of that was my fault… calling for any help I could get when we brought you back here. The rest- Varric. All Varric."

"You were the one that found me?"

Cullen nodded. "We weren't far from a river on the way here. Cassandra and I were trying to figure out what to do after we lost Haven-"

"Lost Haven?!" Solona repeated. "What do you mean 'lost Haven'? It was fine the last I heard of it-" she cut herself off. "Which was months ago…"

Cullen frowned. "How much have you heard of us?"

"Apparently not enough," she admitted with a shrug.

Cullen sighed. "Here you are, jumping into the action and I haven't asked a damn thing about what's happened to you other than how and who…"

"I've been… all over. All of the Wardens from… well, my part in the Blight have. I'm just the more traveled one doing odd jobs. As you heard, the latest was taking out some of the people hosting those Grey Warden regroups that're trying to kill them. A few weeks ago we had gone to take out the people behind some assassination plot against Alistair and Kat…"

Cullen shook his head. Alistair- _just_ Alistair. Not _King_ Alistair. She could call him that and it was welcome. He had seen the King before he was King. It had been a long ten years. "You aren't obligated to us. You can go."

"No. It sounds like you need all the help you can get, so I'll stay. I'm sure Dirk, Arron and Hayden will stay as well."

Cullen put together that those were the other two survivors' names. "Who… are they?"

"Friends I've gathered on my travels. Dirk's a mercenary that helped me out of some trouble with some mages a few years ago. Somehow he convinced me to take him on longer for a price, now he does it for free. One's his own guard from his time as a noble, the rest are friends of his."

"Why would mages attack you?"

"Because I was friends with Jowan, one of the most known blood mages this side of Ferelden, they want to… eliminate one of the big problems that Templars would pick up on if I was around them- guilt by association."

Cullen sighed and shook his head. "I hate this war. I really do."

"You'll hear no arguments from me. Where have you been with all this?"

"I… left the Circle over complications, went to Kirkwall…" he nodded when she opened her mouth. "Was there when it all fell apart- was second in command of the Templars when it all fell apart, had to side with Hawke- your… distant cousin, I believe, then I left the Order as a whole. I couldn't take it anymore. Cassandra found me, now here I am."

"It's good to see you," Solona blurted after a moment. "After all this. It's nice to have some familiarity."

Cullen smiled weakly. "It's… … good to see you, too." The words still felt wrong- not dishonest, but empty to him. "Amell, I-"

"Where is our dear hero who's finally awake?"

Cullen flinched at the intrusion again, but welcomed it all the same. He glanced up at Leliana as she entered, then could've been knocked over when the woman actually squealed-a noise he never would have thought her capable of, as did Solona before she launched herself at the woman and hugged her. He sidestepped them and went to leave them to give them a moment. He spared a glance back at Solona, and to his surprise she was still looking at him, even if she was returning the hug whole-heartedly. He nodded a farewell, then turned and left.

Solona watched him go, then looked at her old friend. "Leli, is he…?"

"The last few years have been quite hard on him, from what I've heard. I'm sure you can imagine. He's having trouble, but he's handling it," Leliana replied. She backed up to sit them down, then curled against Solona, then took her hands in hers before she looked down at the other woman. "Now, we need to get some meat on those bones as well. This is just depressing!" she released one of the other woman's hands to poke at a rib for good measure.

"I've been travelling nonstop for ages…" Solona replied, batting her hands away.

"And now you won't be. We don't have much to spare, but we have enough. Especially when you're in such a sorry state."

"I can barely stand for long periods of time and you want to drag me to a meal?"

"You'll get to know our people. Not to mention you've never been one to just sit around and let full recovery come to you. Now let's go." She offered her hand and then looked at it pointedly.

Solona sighed and rolled her eyes before she took her hand.

Leliana beamed, then led her out of the tent.

Solona followed her out. They had only made it a few paces out before she realized most of the Hold's inhabitants were staring at her. She looked back at a few until they finally got the hint and looked away. She knew to expect that, but hadn't expected the looks in such numbers. She figured it had been a decent while without them. At least it had been a few years since she had that much attention.

There was that saying about counting blessings, after all. She had gotten used to it once. She could do it again.


	3. Chapter 3

Dirk, Arron and Hayden had woken up hours after Amell, and upon hearing of the man and seeing him in passing, Cullen wasn't sure what to think of the former, when he didn't mind the latter two.

Dirk was most definitely Rhia's brother, if he could tell anything from the first few hours. He could see that or figure that if the man's first few conscious minutes were anything to judge. He had stumbled out of the healer's tent and physically dodged the healers who had chased after him to make sure he was okay, then tried to bulk himself up while asking where he was to look more intimidating. He had gone as far as taking a blade right off a soldier's belt and pointing it at him before Cullen himself had to step in. He had to punch the man and send him back a few feet. He wasn't exactly thrilled with the logic that led up to it since he knew the man must've been as lost and confused as possible, but the last thing they needed was more bloodshed. Dirk had stumbled back and went to retaliate, but Rhia had come charging out of nowhere and shoving Cullen out of the way, screaming what Dirk had missed all the while. Dirk had accepted the news with no questioned asked, to Cullen's surprise, then moved on.

The other two survivors woke up shortly after that, and so the Inquisition's mission was back on. Rhia had taken Blackwall, Solas and Varric and had explained she was going to be gone for a few days since she had to figure out where those mirror shards she had found had come from.

Leliana and Josephine had gone off on their own missions,so by rights Cullen was the one in charge, and with the place in disarray, with more and more people coming in, he wasn't exactly sure how to handle it. They needed people to clear rubble, they needed to build, they needed more soldiers, they needed people to train the soldiers and the mages, the list went on. Then again, he and Cassandra were there for the ones who used weapons, and now they had Solona for the mages. That was, if she wanted to help. But he had to try. He went to find her. To his own surprise, it didn't take long. It was the company that he found her in that got him.

She was with Sera, of all people, laughing away as the blonde told one of her potentially vulgar stories. The injured fennec that Rhia had taken in as a pet as something to 'raise the Inquisition's spirits' she had named Red was curled up in Solona's lap, looking as content as could be. He nodded a quick greeting at the pair of them, then promptly looked away when Sera gave him that usual stupid grin that made him as uncomfortable as possible. "Could I borrow Amell for a moment?"

Sera absolutely beamed. "Why, Feather Shoulders- oh, that one wasn't good, is it? Anyway, is all you need a moment, really?"

Cullen groaned, and took pride in the fact that Solona looked just as uncomfortable for him. "Please?"

"Of course…" Solona nodded. She set the fennec down and it darted away and she walked out of the pub with him. They walked towards the stables. "So… is you getting those comments the new standard for you around here?"

"You have no idea…" Cullen sighed.

She smiled weakly. "And to think eleven or so years ago, I sent you running off whenever I pulled something like that…"

"It's been… a long times, as we've said…" he replied and knew he had gone red in the face, and knew he was going to get redder when she seemed to notice and did that 'you're adorable but hopeless' look that she had given him so many times. "And… well, it's… the norm here, rather than… just you doing it on the rare occasion…" he swallowed hard, then decided the subject needed to be changed as soon as possible. "I came to ask if you'd be willing to train the mages we get in-"

Solona's smile faded. "Train them. Like… the Templar definition of train-"

"No!" Cullen cut her off. "Not- I've told you, being a Templar is behind me; their methods are behind me. I'm not- it's all changed. I merely mean to say that when Corypheus' attack happens- and it will happen, we can't have them unfocused, we can't have weakened spells. We need them to have a grip on what they're doing for their own protection."

She beamed. "Ex-Templar giving a mage free reign? Perish the thought," She smacked his arm lightly, and when he didn't return her smile, she sighed. "Come on. You can't still have trouble trusting me after all this…" when he swallowed and looked away, her smile faded again and looked downright hurt. "You still don't trust me."

Cullen's heart sunk at her look. He hated how often that was happening now in such a short span of time. "No! I mean yes! I mean-" he sighed. "It's not that I don't trust you- well, I guess it is, but- ooh, this one went so much better in my head. I want to trust you. I'm sure I can trust you. I've just… I'm trying to trust mages more, and I'm capable of it, more open, but here you are, the one connected to the biggest reason I couldn't trust them and you're suddenly back in my life after not being in it and-" her face fell again. "-And I just blamed you for my troubles with mages when I'm trying to make the point that I trust you… mostly trust you, Oh Maker…" he brought his hands to his face. "I'm sorry. It's not that I don't trust you, but it will take a while, I won't deny you that-"

Solona smiled and took his hand gently, running her thumb over his palm reassuringly. "Cullen, breathe. I was joking- and it was stupid of me to not think that joke through and realize how careless it was. You have every right to be apprehensive. "

Cullen glanced at his hand in hers and pulled away. "No, I haven't. You've more than proven yourself, Amell."

Her smile was back. "We were friends once. If we're to start that again, you should call me Solona."

"You have yourself a deal."

"Good," Solona replied. "As for the mages coming in, I'll be glad to train them."

"Thank you. Now, we should see if we can get another mage here who knows what they're doing. The swordsman outnumber mages in trainers and trainees alike. I'd ask Solas, but he's too busy with his experiments."

"Solas?"

"Tall, bald elf."

"Oh. Wasn't there another one? Mage, I mean?" she asked.

Cullen nodded again. "Vivienne. I'd ask her, but… she…" he sighed. "You always saw through my lies so I can't now- the woman_ terrifies_ me and I feel like my life would be collateral for asking a favor like that, even if it's her job…"

"She is intimidating. Tall, shiny clothes… and that hat," she teased.

"She has ears everywhere you know. Can't have any of them hearing you making fun. She'll have you turned into a newt," Cullen muttered, going along with it but still being serious. He nudged her shoulder to have her walk with him again.

"I think that's the first time I've ever heard you make a joke."

Culen let out a huff of a laugh. "I guess that could be on the list of things that've changed… that I've been opened up to in recent years."

She hummed in approval, then leaned on the wall. "Defensive or offensive?"

"What?"

"How do you want me to train the mages? Defensive so they're giving your soldiers more time, or do you want them to give your soldiers a run for their money?"

"I… would it be too much to ask for both?" Cullen asked.

"Not at all. I think I can work with that," Solona replied.

"Good…" Cullen nodded. The pair stood in comfortable silence until Cullen spotted something in the distance and groaned. "Looks like Cassandra wants to talk with Leliana, Josephine and I about things… can't we have an hour of peace?"

"She's just making sure you're all prepared if the worst should happen…" Amell offered.

"I know, it's just… the incessant arguing is… well, endlessly tiring…" he started to pace. "We should bring you in on these decisions. Maker knows we need someone like you with us. It would help immensely, I think…"

"By the looks of it, I don't think Cassandra wants some… War Hero in your ranks. She'll probably thnk I'm too biased or something. Too prepared."

"Well, if it's one thing I know, you'll have Leliana's support."

"I'd have to start killing puppies for that girl not to throw her lot in with me."

"By the dozens," Cullen agreed, then groaned again. "She's giving me that look. She's angry. Shit."

Solona's eyebrows shot up and she laughed.

Cullen sighed. "I really have to go then. The advisors are meeting tonight over dinner by the stables. Join us, we'll see if we can get Cassandra let you in on most of our information."

"I'd like that."

Cullen nodded, then offered a slight bow before he headed over to Cassandra.

* * *

><p>Rhia came back a couple of days later with a mage, Dorian, in tow. Cullen was more torn about the mage than he had been with Dirk. He was arrogant and wasn't afraid to hide it, his idea of entertainment was igniting a few wisps of flames between his fingers and twirling them around, and didn't bother hiding his opinion on blood magic. Not that Cullen disagreed with the last one, but he could at least not half-shout about it all the time.<p>

And then there was the fact that the second he had reached a ten foot radius of Solona he had turned on the charm. An exaggerated bow, a kiss on the hand, leaning towards her while talking- it was all too much. He expected Solona to be just as put off by it, but she wasn't. She was going with it and smiling and flirting back. And she had the gall to call him out for changing completely.

They had even sat together at dinner, trading stories about their experience with magic as Cassandra did, in fact, bring the pair of them up to speed with what was going on.

He was angry at himself, acting utterly jealous when he hadn't the right. The ship had sailed, and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her again. But this- this was ridiculous. He had speculated about her and Jowan once upon a time, and… eventually obvious life choices aside, he was quiet and more her apparent type.

He was settled a bit when the pair went their separate ways at nightfall. When he realized that he had been watching her and making sure that Dorian was behaving, he insisted he needed to stop. He needed rest. And a very, very strong drink if he could find anything.

* * *

><p>Later that same night, Solona glanced up from her notes about how to train the incoming mages when there was a knock on the door to her assigned room in the hold. She opened it opened the door and smiled when she saw Rhia on the other side. The woman was holding a bottle of wine up in one hand, and two cups were balanced on the fingers on the other. "Hello!"<p>

"Hi," Rhia replied, then nodded when Solona stepped aside to let her in. "Peace offering for barely acknowledging your presence earlier in order to give Cullen a hard time, then running off with not so much as a word to you."

"Where did you find that? One of the survivors bring it in?" She grinned when Rhia hesitated. "Found it around here, then?"

"It was sealed and the year's good, if it helps," Rhia pointed out.

Solona laughed. "Sounds just fine to me, then. How are you feeling? Warmed up, I hope? Your brother settling in alright?"

"He is. Making friends already, too. As for me, mostly. I can finally feel all of my toes again. It'll be good to rest for a while now that the to-do list isn't giant…" She sat on a pile of fallen planks and looked around the room. "Figures. One of six heroes of Ferelden and they give you the shitty, roofless tower."

"It's better than most of the places I've had to stay in the last few years."

"Fair point," Rhia replied. "Now, forgive me if I'm overstepping here, but if I'm to be the head of the Inquisition, I need to know things- and damn it, if I need girl talk after I've almost died three times in the last four days and have had to fight nonstop for most of it, I'm having girl talk. So… what's the deal with you and Cullen? He's been so quiet and short- even when I've tried to get him to warm up to me, and he's kept to himself except for Roderick, now he's actually smiling and following you around. I tried to get an answer out of him and he wouldn't give it. Were you…?"

Solona sighed and smiled again. "He's right. You don't beat around the bush-"

"Sorry-"

"No! If anything, I've needed some of this talk myself. And… it's… complicated. Nothing happened. There was… … he was… interested in me, many years ago. Some… adolescent crush… I'd be lying if I didn't say it wasn't mutual, but it was doomed- Templar and a mage and all that…" she tossed a piece of rubble aside. "And on a horrible note, when Ferelden's Circle got attacked, the demons killed all the Templars but him. They tried to break him, and they apparently used his feelings for me against him and messed with his mind. Some of my friends at the time and Leliana got to him… hours too late at best. Had some… choice things to say about and to me. After we were all out of danger he barely talked to me. And then I've heard of his stint in Kirkwall that went to shit with the Qunaris, and then his superior going mad…"

To Solona's surprise, Rhia looked surprisingly understanding. "Ah. I've only every heard bits and pieces of that. He hasn't been forthcoming. Now I know. And now I feel like an ass."

"If it's any consolation he looks like he's come a long way, so I wouldn't. It's… there's no coming back from that entirely, but it looks like he's tried his best to keep it behind him."

"I'd hope so, if that's the case. Poor thing."

"At least he has this to keep him grounded…" Solona offered, then flinched.

"Yeah, more death and destruction, just what we all need," Rhia sighed. She uncorked the bottle and poured the wine into the two cups. She handed one off to Solona, then hit hers in cheers. "To… hopeful new beginnings… and kicking whatever threat shall pass' ass."

"To kicking ass," Solona agreed before taking a drink.

Rhia followed suit, then grinned. "I'm going to like you, Ms. Hero, I just know it. And forget Cullen, I want to know about your adventures too. Just… tell me things!"

"Such as?"

"I don't kn- oh, yes I do! First encounter with a Pride Demon. I almost died figuratively and literally when I had to fight one a few weeks back. But you? You've apparently taken them on by the dozens, so just… was it as terrifying for you as it was for me?"

"You know, the first time I saw one I was just… sort of numb, so I can't really say. But the worst one… Oh, that one still gives me nightmares. See, after the whole Archdemon business I still had some running around to do with another Warden, and then during one mission we came across this horrid mad woman that called herself the Countess…"


	4. Chapter 4

A few mornings later, Cullen wasn't sure what to think when he woke to some odd cracking sound, followed by more cracking, but it was metallic the second time around. Years of being paranoid caught up to him and he all but shot up out of bed, slid down the ladder and launched himself at the door. He threw it open and jogged to the nearest edge of the battlements.

And then very nearly fell over from relief to find nothing was amiss. It was merely just Solona and Dorian and a handful of new mages throwing up ice walls and Dirk was training his own people to cut the walls down as quickly as they could. Dirk had only been on his job as instructor three days, Dorian for a week and Solona for ten and there they were, already working as a perfect team constructing an obstacle course. And if the wide smiles on all of their faces were any indication, they were enjoying themselves as they did so.

It was good. The people in the Hold needed that break. Not to mention if they were enjoying themselves they would be more likely to take the lessons and fine-tuning to heart.

"Good. Next one. Mages, take a rest," Dorian instructed.

Cullen leaned forward to see what he was doing and wasn't sure what to think when the mage raised his hands and half of the recruits' blades erupted in flame- not to damage, but just apparently to coat.

Dirk took his turn and nodded. "Right. Partner up, one without the flaming sword- Dorian I will end you if you follow up that smirk with whatever you're thinking- let the others swing away, parry as much as you can."

Cullen decided to make his presence known and walked down the stairs to join them. "How are the recruits?"

Dorian turned to him, then tossed his arm around Solona's shoulders, and Cullen fought back another bit of unearned jealousy when she leaned right into him and beamed. "The mages are fantastic under our even more fantastic guidance, Commander. The ones currently swinging around swords looking petrified yet dashing with all that sweat in the right places-" he caught Cullen's uncomfortable look. "Still less than our stellar pupils."

Solona's smile widened, then touched Dirk's arm when the man scoffed, good naturedly all the same. "They're spectacular teachers, these two. I'm impressed. I traveled with one for months and I'm still impressed," she added and gave Dirk an extra nudge.

Cullen let out a breath's worth of a laugh until he realized that touched on a subject he had been curious. "Speaking of which, Dorian, Rhia never told me- how did she come across you?"

Dorian shrugged. "I was apparently part of that… worst case scenario future she lived through. In that timeline was in hiding but found my way into the castle, I had answers and powers she needed, helped her out, presto chango- that's the story I got as far as that goes. Point is she kicked in my friend's door in Redcliffe, claiming she was late to the party but I might need her help in this whole thing, even if we managed to take down Alexius in the other world…" he trailed off, then shook his head. "I accepted more for the change of scenery more than helping all of you- no offense, but here I am."

"And you just… believed Rhia, no questions asked?" Cullen asked.

"Well, when the woman comes in, blurting all of your and your mentor's research it gets your attention, and then when it ventures into serious territory and she confirms old fears that your mentor's gone mad- killed so many people in one world and would've done it in this one, what would you have done?"

Cullen stared at the man for a moment and then realized that he wasn't in the small crowd that knw he had crossed that bridge already. Solona seemed to catch on quickly and she went to open her mouth to protest furthering the conversation, but he put his hand up. "I did the same thing you did, in that case."

Dorian caught his meaning after a moment. "Oh, you must tell me that story someday."

"We'll see."

* * *

><p>Solona looked around the entirety of Skyhold from her spot on the battlements. It seemed so much smaller down below, and then here it was, grandiose and regal and strong. The sight to behold was one she didn't think she would ever see, and she realized she had almost missed it because shaking hands with Death seemed to be an annual tradition now. But this allowed for some peace from the disarray that had been her life for ages.<p>

But of course, as per usual, things got interrupted when the silence was broken by someone shouting in the tower to her right. She could barely make out the voices, but two were deep- male, one was low but feminine. She jumped when the door slammed open. Varric was on the other side- there was one voice.

The dwarf merely blinked at her before backing up and closing the door. The voices continued.

A few moments later, it was Cullen who opened the door and leaned out of it. . "Solona, would you… come here for a few minutes? I… need…. a… second opinion on… a thing."

"Oh, great wording, Curly!" Varric snapped from inside.

Solona frowned, and when Cullen jerked his head and motioned for her to come into the tower. She did, and turned around sharply when he practically slammed the door shut behind her. "Cullen, what…?"

"They figured you could be trusted to know that I'm here."

Solona turned at the new voice and frowned upon seeing a woman who looked like her, just with lighter hair and a rounder face. "Who-?" she knew before she even finished the question. "Hawke…"

Ariadne Hawke nodded. "And you're Amell. Distant cousin of mine, if the stories are true. You left me quite a giant set of shoes to fill."

"Sounds like you filled them just fine," Solona countered.

Ariadne beamed and looked at Cullen. "I like her."

Solona smiled, then looked around. "So why all the secrecy?"

Ariadne pointed at Varric. "Turns out this one didn't tell the biggest name of this operation he knew I was alive despite the fact that I was needed."

Varric tossed his hands out. "I was protecting you! I didn't know if Cassandra was legit or not and-"

The door swung upon with a bang, and Cassandra was on the other side. She advanced on Varric. "You!" she called, then spotted Ariadne. "… You?!"

"Time to go!" Cullen blurted and grabbed Solona's wrist before all but dragging her towards the door.

"Cullen!" Ariadne hissed, the same time Varric muttered, "Curly!"

He looked back at her and the pair exchanged pleading looks all their own before Cullen continued on, switching to pushing Solona towards the door. They made it out, and both started when the door slammed behind them and they could hear Cassandra yelling, muffled as it was.

She turned to him. "Should we really have left them?"

"If it's anyone who could take on Cassandra when it comes to yelling matches, it's your cousin. She took down the Arishok, she can take on Cassandra…" he stopped short and looked back at the tower door like he was contemplating running back in. "… The Arishok. Shit. She might not be too happy about Iron Bull- then again, she did help that one who just wanted swords…" he trailed off.

"What does she want? Does Varric just want her here to keep an eye on her? Or is there business? I don't recall."

"Something about the Wardens. I'm not exactly sure myself. Some sort of… sickness, maybe?" he paused and turned back to her, Ariadne's potential trouble all but forgotten. "Are you? Feeling ill, I mean."

Solona hesitated, and something in him twisted with worry. It wasn't until he remembered how he found her that he figured that was the reason. He rubbed the back of his neck. "Right, stupid question. Of course you've been ill recently… or… close enough to it."

She smiled weakly, and Cullen wasn't sure what to think about the fact she still seemed off. "Well, I've been fine lately, that's the important part," she replied. "What about the other Warden? The one I haven't met yet- Black… well?"

"Black_wall_, and I'm not sure myself. He's seemed fine the last few times I've seen him…" Cullen shrugged. He turned back towards the tower. "We'll see what it's about shortly, I assume-"

"If Cassandra doesn't rip the poor woman limb from limb, judging by what I just saw," Amell objected. "You know, she just went on about family before, and I've checked the lines- we are cousins, so I don't think I'm okay just leaving her-"

Cullen let out a bark of a laugh. "I doubt it's going to be _Ari_ Cassandra would kill. It's Varric we should be worried about. She's been after the Champion to be part of this since day one so harming her would be counter-productive. She's had it out for Varric for ages though."

"Why was she after us?"

"Same reason that we needed you- power, experience and influence," he shrugged. "Uh, not that I- not that we would've … let you drown… or die from bloodloss if you weren't you."

The pair turned when they heard the door to the tower opened when there was more shouting. Varric stormed out, Hawke was at his heels, and to their surprise, Rhia shuffled out a few moments later. Varric merely spared them a glance before continuing into the main hall. Ariadne went to follow them, then stopped short in front of Cullen and Rhia had to swerve to Solona's side to avoid a collision.

"You left him with… that woman?!" Ariadne hissed and punched his arm. "How could you just leave us with her when you clearly knew she was going to try to tear Varric a new one?!"

"I wasn't willing to get involved…" Cullen supplied.

"Right, which left me to get forced to take sides," Rhia finally cut in. "I just walked in there to try and get to your side of the Hold and the next thing I knew I was getting dragged into this fight! And now Cassandra hates me and I could've used you to back me up, so thanks."

"She what? Ugh, Rhia, I'm sorry-"

"You owe me," Rhia pointed out.

"Fine," Cullen shrugged.

Ariadne looked between them before she heaved a giant sigh. "Right. Cullen, not talking to you right now-"

"Wha-"

"Amell, I will speak to you later, maybe regroup with- Rhia, was it?" the woman nodded. "-Good. We'll see what I can do here if I can get my assistance. Before that- I need to go talk to Varric and find a way to avoid whoever that was-"

"Cassandra," Cullen cut in.

"Whatever. Point is I'm not thrilled with her right now. If you all will excuse me," she nodded, then started her way up the stairs to the main hall. She stopped short at the base and backed up. "… … Cullen?" she called.

The man blanched. "First right, another right, down the stairs to the left. He'll be in the back," he instructed.

"… Thank you."

Cullen couldn't help the satisfied smirk grace his face.

Solona smacked his arm. "Don't! You did leave her with Cassandra!"

"Lady's got a point," Rhia supplied.

"Oh, shut up."

* * *

><p>Cullen was half convinced that some higher power hated him when suppertime came around. He had gotten caught up with paperwork and delayed eating an hour. When he had gone to get something, Solona, Rhia and Ariadne were huddled together, trading stories. Solona waved him over, and to his own surprise, Rhia scooted over in preparation to give the man room before he even came over. Ariadne still seemed distant, and it was then that he realized she still hadn't exactly joined with them by name. She had just shown up for some mystery reason that he wasn't even sure about. He threw caution to the wind and sat beside the two redheads. "Well, Ari. Are you officially part of our operation yet?"<p>

"Not… exactly. Look, I'll admit I didn't come here just to help out or see Varric…" she looked genuinely guilty about the last bit.

Cullen leaned forward. "So I've heard. What is it, then?"

"I need… some of your resources. Even if it's just using some of that woman Leliana's contacts, sources, books, anything like that."

He frowned. "I don't know. With that latest attack we're still building in number and no one knows if Corypheus is going to strike days or months from now and-"

"I understand. I just… that's why I don't need that much."

"Well, it's my call now, isn't it?" Rhia asked, and when Cullen shrugged in agreement, she looked back. "What do you need, Champion?" she asked.

"And does it involve Anders in any way?" Cullen added after a minute.

If looks could kill, Ariadne could've killed the man in a second flat with the look she gave him.

"I have to ask. He's dangerous, Ari. You know as well as I that I was skeptical about the man but… didn't mind him when we met. I know you have your reasons to keep him hidden, but we need to be careful. As do you," Cullen insisted.

It was Solona's turn to cut in again. "Would he really be capable of harm? Look, the man might have had a… problem with authority, but the man was a romantic. If anybody is safe with him it's the woman he loves…"

"You knew him?" Ariadne asked.

"Briefly. I knew the spirit before he… took the man over, too. It's a long story. But… I was friends with the both of them… and before the spirit changed too. Point is… has he changed that much?"

"You have no idea," Cullen and Ariadne muttered at the same time.

Solona frowned and looked at her hands and sighed deeply. "Too much has gone wrong lately…"

"And it's time we all change that," Rhia offered, and the others smiled weakly.

After a few moments, Ariadne sighed again. "Also, just… because I feel like it needs to be said after all that, before you ask, I didn't approve of-"

"I wasn't going to ask," Solona cut her off. "I… get being… attached to loved ones who do… extremely stupid things with or for magic. I paid for it- not nearly as much as you and Anders have, but… I understand."

Cullen frowned at her. She meant Jowan. Of course there had been feelings there. He should've known. It figured though. The bastard, tossing her aside when he did… that. He could've ruined her.

"Point is- well, kind of does. Loosely. Not exactly sure, but it's not centered on him, if that's what you're getting at," Ariadne admitted. She looked between her companions, then spared a few extra seconds looking at Solona. "Maybe this should wait…"

"With a build-up like that?" Rhia interjected.

"I need more information myself. I just need to know… if it's what I think it is, I'll have your help."

"I suppose…?" Cullen shrugged. "Come to the War Table tomorrow, we'll see what we can do."

Rhia nodded. "We don't have anything planned for the next couple of days, so if you change your mind about travelling for information, nothing big is planned, so we can give you manpower if you need it."

"Sounds like a plan," Ariadne replied. "And… Solona, would you mind if I had a word with you later? I can come to you, if you'd prefer."

"I don't see why not. Family should know each other, like you said," Solona replied.

"Good. Then I'll see you later. If you'll excuse me, Varric's offered to catch me up with what I've missed here," Ariadne got up and left without another word.

Solona rose as well. "Someone I knew from Ferelden showed up the other day. I think I should go see how he is. If I don't see either of you, have a good night." She got up and left as well.

After a few moments, Rhia looked at Cullen. "Are those two always so… off?"

"I… have no idea anymore," Cullen admitted.

"You know, Dirk and I fancy ourselves as fairly decent snoops-"

"_No_,"

"Bu-"

"The last thing this Inquisition needs is distrust, Rhia. It could be nothing."

"And if it's not?" Rhia questioned.

"Then we'll deal with it when it happens, just as we've done everything else. The bloody Inquisitor has more to worry about than little things."

"He says, when he's the one who's going to be affected most since he's apparently friends with both. I mean someone has to look out for you, you stupid, broody lout. Or at least arrange to get someone in those trousers of yours before things go wrong."

"You. Are. _Insufferable._"

"Don't act like you don't feel like you need these conversations in your life right now."

"You know, I should arrange for my sister to come so you could meet her. You two would get along famously and tip me over the edge into madness."

"We would do it proudly." She hit his arm and winked.

Cullen scoffed, then watched her leave before he glanced back at his plate. He had no idea what was to come, but for the first time, he did feel like the people around him were suitable to help him cope. And that was enough for that moment- that was all he could have asked for.


	5. Chapter 5

When Rhia and a handful of her people came back from the Emerald Graves, Solona didn't expect the woman to ask her to go help Cullen and a few soldiers collect resources a few days later. She appreciated the excuse to get out and agreed. A matter of hours later Dorian, Cassandra and Arron had agreed to accompany the group as well.

The trip there itself was surprisingly relaxing. It was quiet and gorgeous and no one seemed to have a problem with each other. The only time that they seemed at odds was the day when Dorian had decided to start up a game of eye-spy out of boredom one morning and it had gone on for hours. She still wasn't sure if it was because the game was happening or he had started losing miserably an hour in.

He got back at the mage when they had arrived at the Graves and had them going off to find materials with less than an hour at camp.

Dorian, of course, retaliated by whining the whole time.

They eventually got the amount of bloodstone they needed, which allowed them the rest of the day to regroup and enjoy the area. They had settled for walking around for a while and it had been nice- until a set of Great Bears had shown up and decided that the four of them were too close to their territory for their liking.

They dispatched one after a while, but the second retreated to its cave shortly after.

Dorian made sure the coast was clear before setting his staff down. "Are we going to go after that one or leave it? Because I just got smacked around the head three different times and I'm not for going back in-" he stopped short when there was a sudden shout from inside the cave, followed by a blinding purple light from inside. "And… letting that happen again," he finished. "What-" but he saw that Solona had frozen in place and had started to stare at the cave. Cullen wasn't far off. "What?" he repeated.

"I know that scream," she pointed out.

"Solona, no," Cullen objected, but Solona was already headed for the cave. "Solona!" he hurried after her. Dorian went to follow, but the former Templar put his hand up. "Stay, and don't let any of the others follow."

Dorian frowned. "You sound petrified. From what I've heard and seen, you don't do petrified, is she in danger?!"

"Possibly, but it's... complicated and doesn't concern you. Just- stay here!" Cullen repeated before he ran to catch up with the woman. He was relieved to find that she had barely made it inside when he caught up. "Solona, do you even-" he grabbed at her wrist.

"Let go! If he's…" Solona began, then stopped upon seeing the bear that had run off dead in the corner. There was a trail of blood in front of it and she followed the trail until she saw a second body propped up along one of the walls, and she realized that it was blood behind body. "ANDERS!" her heart all but stopped, and the fact that the other mage's chest rose slightly at his name being called was little to no help.

The mage lifted his head carefully and Solona could finally see just how much damage he had taken.

There was a pained moan, and then ever so quietly, "… Lona?"

"Yes, it's me. It's Lona…" she started to approach him.

Anders held out his hand, then shook a finger weakly. "No sudden movements. I don't…" he paused. "I don't know. I don't want to hurt you."

"Solona…" Cullen finally spoke up, and Anders' head shot in his direction. A moment later, a wall of ice shot up right at his feet.

Solona turned at the cracking sound it made. "Shit, Cullen?!"

The noise died, and there was a hard exhale before something metallic sounded and she could see sparks light from inside the circle, and blurs of red and black dodged to and fro and she realized he was trying to cut his way out of the ice, but it either didn't work, or ice grew right back in the place he had cut.

She turned back around. "Anders, let him go!"

"What, so the plan wasn't to kill me? Take control of the bears, come in and distract me, then get him to finish the job?" Anders spat after a moment.

"If you harm her you're a dead man, do you understand me?!" Cullen called.

Anders scoffed weakly.

Solona shook her head weakly. "No. Maker, no. I came running in because I heard you scream! I thought you were in danger!" Anders finally looked her in the eye, and her stomach twisted when she saw that his eyes were dotted with blood too. "You can trust me. You can believe me."

He sized her up again, then looked towards where Cullen was. "She was never in danger from me, Templar, but being that your interference has… set him off, we'll see what happens to you."

Cullen muttered something under his breath.

Solona looked between them again. "Anders, let him go. I promise I'll not let him harm you."

"You're trusting him? A Templar? After everything?" Anders choked out.

"He's not a Templar anymore, and yes. If you're uneasy with him, trust in me. We were friends once, remember?"

"Of course I remember. Justice remembers…" Anders replied. "And I could've frozen him solid- would've done more harm to me than good, but could've done it all the same. Keep that in mind," Anders snapped. He looked up at her and sighed, then hissed in pain and touched his abdomen.

Solona stepped closer to him. "He came to protect me, not harm you," Solona offered. "You're really bleeding-"

"There's no arguing with a madman, get out of here!" Cullen called.

Solona hesitated, then turned back around again. "Cullen, just… wait!" she objected.

There was a pause, and then the cutting sounds stopped. She heard him mumble something she couldn't make out, but she knew it was sarcasm from tone alone. It was silent afterward.

She turned back to the mage and crept closer. "I tried to get him to stay back. Anders, wha-" she stopped in her tracks as she remembered something. "It is, Anders, isn't it? Or is it Justice now?"

He glowered, and then coughed up blood and her breath caught when blood came up on the last cough.

Anders relaxed slightly, and his arm buckled under his weight. "Just your… dear old friend at the moment… but I'm not sure how long that's to last."

Solona couldn't tell if he meant just control over his body in general, or the apparently very real possibility he could die of bloodloss. "What happened?" she asked. She took another step forward, and when he made no move to stop her, she took another. "Talk to me. I swear we just happened upon you. This isn't- I won't…" she trailed off.

"Didn't think to wonder if the cave I was hiding in was… a den. I was resting, and the damn bears took me by surprise. Must've left to deal with you, then that one came back, saw me again… killed it."

The redhead swallowed hard, already fighting the lump in her throat. "Let me help you…"

Anders stared at her, then laughed weakly. "Facing down a mass murderer who's dying and she wants to save his life. You're unbelievable, Lona."

She reached over and ran her hand up and down his arm hesitantly, not finding much else in her to do." We were friends. Justice and I, too. And we're all murderers at this rate. Let me help you," she repeated.

Anders was silent for a while, then he swallowed heavily. "And if I don't want you to?" he countered, then looked away.

Her throat clenched at that and she tried to get a hold of herself. After a beat, she reached up and to touch his face, and her heart broke when he pulled away to prevent it. "That's not very like you to want to end it," she pointed out. "Where was the one who just wanted to have a pretty girl at his side and shoot lightning at fools?"

"I've changed," he replied and still didn't look at her.

"Clearly…" Solona all but snapped before she could stop herself. She flinched. "I'm-"

"You know what I mean. I wanted a change. I wanted mages to be free. And it all ends up beinga footnote in the greater scheme of things. One war just tossed aside for another… and I've ruined everything with the people I care about. The love of my life barely looks at me anymore and it's rare I see her as it is." He flinched. "Oh, Ari. I'm so sorry."

That last bit got to her again. This wasn't like him. Where was the Anders who loved life and made it through with a joke at anyone's expense? Had he fallen that far with the spirit? Was he really ready to give all of it up? "No," she said firmly and knelt next to him carefully and fought back tears again. When he raised an eyebrow at her, she shook her head. "No. I've met her now. She's bloody fantastic and it's no wonder you two got on and you will see her again. You're going to get out of this cave."

Anders eyed her hand carefully when she brought it up towards him. "I should be saying 'no' to you-"

"Then sod off because you know what my answer to that would be," Solona countered and placed a hang on his chest and channeled as much healing energy through it as she could.

Anders jerked at the touch, then leaned into it after a few moments, that broke her even more. That changed when his eyebrows shot up.

"Anders?" she repeated.

"You…" he gawked at her. He took her hand in his and squeezed it.

Solona shot him a look, then glanced back at the ice circle that was still holding Cullen at bay. "I what?"

"You know bloody well what," he replied, and Solona was both terrified at the implication and happy that it was the most lively he had sounded so far. "How could y- forget that. Can you hear it?" he asked.

"Hear what?" Cullen called.

Both jumped at his voice, having all but forgotten he was there.

"Nothing that concerns you!" Anders spat. He hissed in pain and Solona tried vehemently to blink away the sympathetic tears from at least falling, having given up on trying not to let them form. He was right about her caring for all the wrong people, but damn it, what was she supposed to do when he had been one of her closest friends-almost more- she noted and her stomach twisted again- then the man dropped out of her life, and then she was getting secondhand stories of him blowing up a Chantry. It was awful. And yet she found this reality even worse.

Anders looked his way, then back. "That… is why this happened. Something is very, very wrong. Justice… I don't even know. He's there but he's gone. And that song… it's just… all wrong. And it needs to be stopped. And that used to be our job. And I can't do a damned thing to stop it." He looked back to stare at the ceiling of the cave. "Things do have a strange way of working out then ruining everything, don't they?" he murmured.

Something in the back of Solona's mind wanted to remind him that he had made his bed and had to lie in it, but the thought of pulling that while he was just stopping bleeding out was too much for her. "Yes they do."

He sighed again, then covered her hand with his. "Oh, Lona. What messes we've made of our existence."

She laughed weakly. "Yes. You could say that."

"Double for me," Anders added.

"Triple for you," she corrected.

Anders laughed, then hissed in pain.

Solona was pretty sure she heard a bone snap back into place. "Anders…"

Anders batted her hands away. After a beat, he shook his head and snorted. "You know, I love Ari. I wouldn't be here without her, but... sometimes I have to wonder what would've happened if that whole 'pretty girls and lightning' thing happened. If I took you up on that offer..."

"We would've driven each other mad and you know it," Solona replied.

Anders snorted again, then flinched in pain. After a few too-heavy moments of silence, he sighed. "Too late for that now. How is Ariadne, if you've seen her?"

"She's good. She's safe. I guess the Amell tradition of getting up when you're down runs pretty damn strong… she's worried about you though. I know that look well enough to know when someone's hiding it." She swallowed hard. "Please tell me you weren't actually so willing to give up on your life."

"If you haven't noticed I haven't got much to live for other than the… quarter of a handful of people who don't hate me on principle now. Go ahead, say it, 'you did it to yourself.'"

"Never," Solona promised. After another moment, she shook her head. "Fine. But… No. I need to ask, at least. You know that. Why? You were so suspicious of spirits and then… I just hear all of this in my travels about you and…" she stopped short. "I was terrified for you. I thought… I thought a demon just… took you over entirely, but when I found out it was Justice? He was doing all those things? Through you. I didn't want to believe it. We were all friends. Justice respected me, I respected him-"

"Oh, he just about _loved_ you. It wasn't just respect. That was the only thing that didn't change when we joined."

"Is that's what keeping you… you right now?" she asked.

Anders frowned. "I'm not even sure… he just… stopped. A while back I thought… letting him out more often would… even things out, but he's quiet."

Solona sighed, and figuring that most of his wounds were taken care of, she turned her hand in his to hold it. "Promise me you won't do anything stupid. If this was an accident and you didn't finding those damn bears to end things for you. I've lost too many friends, and circumstances aside I can't stand to lose another one…"

"I've doomed our kind," he supplied. "You can-"

"I _can't._ And now the Templars are too busy dealing with things in their own ranks to care. Promise. Me," she repeated again. "If not for me than for Ariadne."

Anders grunted, then turned towards Cullen again. "And what say you, Knight Captain? As willing to see me live as your old friend?"

Solona frowned and looked at the ice again.

"Never call me Knight Captain again and I'll see about looking the other way- but not for your sake," Cullen offered.

Anders snorted, then frowned and turned his attention back to her. "He was serious? He's not in the Order anymore?"

"When your commanding officer goes insane and you realize how corrupt the Order is, you learn to leave eventually, apparently."

Anders arched an eyebrow, then looked at the ice again. "That figures for him, really."

"Why don't you-?!" Cullen began, then cut himself off again and mumbled the rest.

Anders looked at Solona. "Well, your… taste in Companions hasn't changed. At least he's seemed to have removed the pole from his ass."

"There's the you I know…" she smiled weakly. "And be nice. He's playing by your rules."

"And how long will that last?" Anders countered.

Solona frowned at him, then squeezed his shoulder. "Be careful, okay? Stay out of trouble. Please. I don't want to come back and find you dead. And you know now I will come back to check."

Anders sighed dramatically. "What, can't find it in you to spare a few more minutes with an old friend?"

"It's been a while, and I don't know how well the others would take to find me talking calmly with the most wanted man in Thedas who's bleeding out and I'm not finishing the job."

"Fair enough…" he got out.

"I will see you," Solona replied, and was relieved when he offered a smile in return. So it had sounded less like a threat then. Good. "With new clothes for you, too."

"Fine. Go, leave me here,"

"You-"

There was a series of cracks behind her and a strangled yelp of alarm.

"And now you're lapdog's free and quite vocal. That must not work for you with a giant crowd."

"Stop," Solona insisted.

Anders put his hands up.

She was about to continue further when Cullen walked over, took her arm and started pulling her upright. "You know, Dorian's going to start speculating soon and knowing him he'll get it right, realize he's right and start spreading rumors if we're not careful."

"So the one who follows the rulebook to a 'T' isn't gonna turn the big bad apostate in? Even when a friend doesn't want him to?" Anders asked.

"The rulebook's flawed, Anders," Cullen replied without so much as looking at him.

"Welcome to the cynical side of things, then," Anders deadpanned.

Cullen finally looked at him, then took his waterskin off his belt and tossed it to the man. "Here. In case you're still out of it."

Anders didn't bother hiding his look of surprise.

"I'm not doing this for you," Cullen added. "Solona, we need to go," he gave her arm an insistent tug.

Solona nodded quickly and gave Anders one final look before she let him lead her out of the cave. She made it a matter of feet before she stopped short and doubled over. The sobs started coming right after that.

Dorian was the first to rise out of the four and his frown deepened when she pushed past him, wiping furiously at her face. He turned to Cullen. "Is she…?" he made to walk over. "Who was?"

Cullen grabbed his shoulder. "Who it was is between us, and the 'who' is part of the problem."

Dorian grunted and went to go after her, but Cullen stopped him. "Let me. It's… complicated, and like it was when we went in, I'm afraid I'm the only one who… understands… most of what… her being upset is about-"

Dorian held up his hands to stop the man from going further. "You know, we heard her scream. We know it's the one who blew the Chantry sky high," Dorian instructed. "But… she seems like the level-headed sort, and if she wants to mourn him- or leave him, or if she's just killed him, I'm not one to protest. I'll stand by whatever decision she made."

Cullen nodded back. "We'll meet you back at camp. Go on ahead."

Dorian made a mock bow, then left. Cullen watched him, then went after Solona. He found her a few feet away, hunched over by a rock wall. He sighed and approached her. After a few moments, he reached over and touched her shoulder.

She looked to the side, then smiled weakly at him. She wiped at her eyes again. "So when's the 'I told you so' coming?"

Cullen frowned, then sighed. "It's not," he assured her. He looked her up and down, then sighed and raised his arms. "Come here…"

She pressed her lips into a thin line, then caved and did as requested. She leaned into him.

He rubbed her back hesitantly. He was silent for a while and Solona was starting to worry when his grip tightened on her slightly. "You loved him, didn't you? More than a friend."

Solona scoffed, then stopped short when she remembered just what he had said all those years ago at the Circle. Her heart sunk that it was him of all people asking that question. Worse, she couldn't bring herself to lie to him at that moment. "A long time ago- the old him. The one who wouldn't resort to… " she stopped, and Cullen held her closer. She flinched, then shook her head. "He's still a friend and to think all this… he was okay with dying after everything he's been through- he used to love life, and that's gone. I just… I can't lose another one, Cullen, I can't. I don't care about what's happened since that, but I know there's going to be so many other losses and I don't know what that's going do to me anymore. How many other people am I going to lose?"

"If I could tell you to set your mind at ease, I would… as morbid as that sounds."

"It's appreciated," she replied.

He pulled back from her. "Let's get back to camp, then. It may help get your mind off of that. And you can send for Hawke when we're there."

She nodded, then sighed. "Promise me you won't turn him in behind my back first? I think he's been through enough."

He paused, then pinched the bridge of his nose. "I... lied to him. About not doing it for him. Partially, anyway. The man saved my life before this. That's the least I can do, too."

She frowned. "What?"

"The fight with Meredith. She was… furious when I turned on her, then when she let the lyrium take over…. Hawke and I were her main targets. She almost skewered me on her blade- would've if Anders hadn't used some spell and blasted me back ten feet…" he explained. "If keeping my mouth shut about him to all but Ariadne is how I can repay that debt, then so be it."

She absolutely beamed, and if he could pull her closer, Cullen would've. He nodded back towards the camp. "We'll be the talk of the Hold with all this wandering off…"

"Worse things have happened," she bumped her shoulder into his.

He smiled weakly. "Yes, I suppose they have."


	6. Chapter 6

They reached camp after a few minutes to find that they were the only ones aside from a handful of soldiers who were actually back. They had gone on doing their own thing until Solona realized that one of Cullen's 'things' was watching her and walking towards her before muttering to himself and walking back to his own spot again and repeating the process minutes later. After the fourth time, she decided to look at him in the middle of heading her way and smiling at him.

Cullen froze for a moment, then sighed. He glanced to the side and seemed to be working something out in his head before he walked the rest of the way over to her. He hesitated a few more moments before scratching his ear. "Do you mind if we… take a walk?"

"Is everything okay?" she asked.

"I should be asking you that, really…" Cullen pointed out.

She smiled weakly. "I'm… … I'll be fine. Where did you have in mind?"

"The quarry we found over that way, maybe. I just… I need to talk to you, and if any of the others come back, I'd rather we could have this conversation in private. I feel terrible… wanting to have it now, but I fear we won't get another chance any time soon."

Her smile dropped as she realized just what this must've been about then. "Of course…" she got up and he nodded in their intended direction. She walked and he followed. When they made it to the quarry, she sat on the brick wall, and he stopped before he started to pace again.

After a few moments of watching him, Solona leaned forward. "Cullen …?"

After a few moments of silence, Cullen sighed. "Maker, this is really bad timing. I truly am sorry for dropping on you. It's just… I just…it's occurred to me I haven't really…" he rubbed his face. "I don't even know where to begin with this…" he sat next to her, then turned his body towards her carefully. "I… well, I suppose just come out with it. I need to apologize for… everything I said all those years ago at the Circle, and… ignoring you when you came back, it's-"

She shook her head. "I've… well, _implied_ that I-"

He held up his hand to stop her. "Please. I know you're all about forgiveness, but… I need to say it. I was vile, and you saved my life and I couldn't even look past my own hate, and… you had only ever been kind to me. You fought your way through the monsters who killed my friends and I just saw you as a mage and their weapon and… I've never forgiven myself for being so disrespectful to you…"

"It's al-"

Cullen scoffed and shook his head. "It's _not_. I should've- you deserved so much more than what I gave you back then, and… … I can only hope to make it up to you now." He shook his head and looked down.

Solona watched him carefully for a while, then she reached over and took his hand, then carefully laced her fingers through his. "You're already well on your way into doing that, and time healed wounds anyway, so I beg of you, don't worry." She frowned when he looked less than convinced, even when he couldn't look at her, too distracted by their joined hands. "But that doesn't change the fact that I understand. I would've snapped if demons used my friends against me, too."

"You've braved things that were just as bad- and far worse. I failed miserably where you succeeded."

"You're still here. That's… just as commendable," she offered.

"I didn't save the world," he pointed out.

"I didn't go through having my mind shredded by demons with visions centered on mages destroying everything and then come back from that and then go and defend mages in the short lived… war, if you could even call it that, and then befriend them these days." She leaned into him further. "I was dumb enough to just… leave you, too-"

"You weren't-"

"Now you hush," Solona cut him off. "My turn. You were one of my best friends from those days- circumstances and duty aside, and you were tortured. I'd be a pretty awful person to hold onto that against you for ten years. Even back then there were six of us who were dragged into the mess with no notice. Kat was there, Kat could've just… reported that I needed to stay behind for a while to check on you. I could've written you. Or Irving and asked him to check in on you. I- our- we both mucked… us up in the last few years. Now we're here, things have… changed almost as much as possible. That's a clean slate for us, we've done well so far with it, and I hope we can keep it that way. And that's my piece with this."

Cullen finally looked at her, and offered a sad yet hopeful smile. "Thank you."

She smiled, then carefully leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder. "So what do you say? Friends again with all of that behind us? Officially, now that we've… more or less had this big talk?"

"I'd like that…" Cullen offered.

Solona looked at him and both seemed to realize just how close they had been leaning. They stared and were silent for a while, watching and waiting. She muttered something under her breath, then leaned up further. "Cullen…"

Cullen bowed his head to meet her, then at the last second pulled up and touched his forehead to hers. "I don't think- Maker, part of me wants this still- it's practically unfinished business with you and I, but you've been through quite the emotional last couple of hours and…"

"It's. Fine," she insisted, then went to close the last bit of distance. She was about to seal it when she stopped short. She sighed and let her head drop. "No, it's not."

He stilled and pulled back. "I'm sorry, I-"

Solona looked at him again and struggled to keep distance between them, but still stay physically close. "No, no! It's not- I'm not going to explain it starting there. Point is here you are spilling your guts about something and-"she stopped short again when she heard distant yelling. Both turned in that direction only to see Dorian, Iron Bull, Blackwall and Rhia all charging their way. "And of course now there's that…" She stood carefully, and Cullen did the same. "Wha- how are you over here? I thought you were gone- and how did you meet back up?!"

Dorian reached them and grabbed her hand, then after a beat grabbed at Cullen's gauntlet and dragged them along, and kept running. "Yes, sorry we had to interrupt what was a clearly sweet and potentially years-in-the-making moment, but we really must dash!"

"Why, Dorian? What's-"

There was a roar behind them, and a couple of seconds later, a boulder went flying over their heads and Cullen had to shove Solona to the side and throw himself in the opposite direction to avoid them getting leveled by it.

The boulder landed directly where they had been standing, then the ground started shaking.

"What. Happened?!" Solona repeated.

"Well, you see, Rhia was just tracking landmarks with these two and whatnot after we took down a giant and surprise, there were three more waiting for us around the corner and we have yet to lose them!"

"I thought you were with us though? Rhia was across the Graves. And where's Arron?" Solona fired off.

"Exactly!" Dorian called. "Giants are very determined creatures and the rest of our friends were too stupid to not run in a straight line- you know, where camp is and we were. And your friend had the right idea and ran the other way to one of the other camps."

"He abandoned you?!"

"No, got separated. I assure you, your man is most definitely not a coward."

"Are we going to keep running or are we going to eliminate the problems then?!" Cullen objected.

Solona stopped short. "You know what? I am done running for the day…"

"Sol-" Cullen began, and then barely managed to duck before an ice spell went over her head.

Dorian let out the most annoyed groan any of them had heard come out of his mouth, but stopped as well and fired off one of his own. "Well, Hero, what's the plan?"

"Freeze, hit, run!" she called.

"Oh yeah! That's the spirit. Can't believe these jokes for fighters! I knew I liked her!" Iron Bull called. He raised his axe and ran right back at the giant.

It was at that moment when there was another roar, and the others looked to see Dirk appear over one hill. He looked panicked, and a moment later, they found out why. Apparently his method of escape from his own giant was wrangling a bronto, throwing himself onto it and letting it run off. Another man was behind him on horseback.

Dirk spotted them and waved his arm frantically before returning his grip onto the bronto for dear life. "You people might wanna move! This was most definitely not my most brilliant idea!"

"No, Ric, this _is _the _worst_! This surpasses the deep stalker hunt when we were seventeen," the other man added.

"Shut. Up. Fairbanks! And I outgrew 'Ric' a few years back!" Dirk called. He threw himself off of the bronto when he reached the others and rolled to go back to back with his sister. Fairbanks went with a more graceful approach, bringing the horse to a halt before drawing his sword and dismounting.

The second giant showed up over the hill and the group scrambled to divide to take them both down.

A few minutes of the mentioned pattern passed, and they eventually managed to take down the two creatures.

"Can we all vote on heading back to Skyhold and leaving the last one to its own devices then? My arms are killing me!" Dorian called.

"Seconded!" Dirk added.

"Fine, but let's get Arron first. Poor sod looks like he'd be utterly lost without us physically and literally." She turned to her brother and Solona. "Sorry…"

"It's fine. Also, poor guy got lost in Redcliffe Village five times over when he was alone, so you're not far off," Dirk shrugged.

"Alright, fine then, let's get out of here before we find out those giants have parents…" Rhia instructed.

Dorian groaned. "Oh, you had to say that. Now we'll run into them- and maybe their aunts and uncles too."

Dirk tossed his arm around the man's shoulders. "Big, arrogant mage is afraid of the giants, even if we took them down? Don't worry, the big strong warriors'll keep you safe."

"Right, says the one who ran away from one on a bronto's back, left Mister Orlesian over there in the dust, and brought the thing to us," Dorian countered, then winked at the man when he smirked.

"Down, you too. Now come on. Let's go," Rhia insisted and gave the both of them a gentle shove in the camp's direction.

They all settled down and started on their way.

After a few minutes, Solona dropped back to where Cullen was. "Hey…"

"Hi…"

She glanced at her hands, then sighed and shook her head. "About before, I just-"

Cullen smiled weakly. "It's fine. It's just… bad timing. It's always been bad timing with us," he leaned back, then the smile dropped. "It might always be…"

"It's not _this_ time. I… just have a bunch of things to sort out and the last thing I'd want is to drag you into them and I was just really, really too hopeful for a minute there, and…" she exhaled sharply, leaned up and kissed the corner of his mouth, then tucked her forehead by his chin. She tried to hide her light laugh when he finally seemed to remember to breathe a few moments later. "Let's just… try to make the world a bit safer before we start anything."

"Sounds perfectly reasonable," he replied.

She took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze again before she turned and left.

* * *

><p>Solona glanced up when there was a knock at her door. "Come in!"<p>

Leliana slipped through the door and closed it behind her. "So, rumor has it that the Commander's a little more smiley than usual, and Dorian's been running his mouth about an interrupted moment between you two-"

"Of course he is," Solona sighed. "He's a good man but he doesn't know when to shut his mouth," she continued, then sat on her bed.

"Sounds like someone else we know," Leliana replied.

"The one on the throne, or our favorite Crow?"

"First one, but have you heard from Zevran?"

"Somewhat recently. He's… himself. Spending all the money he can and wishing us well, saying he misses us. The usual."

"I do miss that fool. Wish he didn't have to be in the wind. It's almost good that I came here because really if you combine Dorian and Rhia, from what I've seen and heard-"

"I thought the same thing! It's like we have them in spirit with those two." Leliana beamed and took her friend's hand. "But alas, you are changing the subject. Are you and the Commander…?"

"No- ye- maybe? Eventually? I'm not exactly sure. We… even tried to… name… what was between us but we even put it off," she shrugged and leaned back to lay down, and Leliana went with her. "I doubt it'll interfere with Inquisition business, if that's what you're getting at."

"It most certainly was not, but the thought is most appreciated," Leliana replied. "I just had to make sure the gravity of what my sources may hear or not… … and how heavily to tease Cullen at the war table."

"Leave him _alone_, Leli…" she muttered. She rolled her eyes when Leliana laughed in response. "Moving on from this: Remember those favors you owed me back in the day? I need you to repay one of them for me."

To her credit, Leliana was immediately all business again. "Is everything alright?"

"We'll see. I… I just need to leave for a while to look for something. I could use a handful of people who could go with me- and… be trusted with secrets."

Leliana frowned, business stance all but gone again. "Are you in trouble with anyone?"

"No, I just… I need to find something, and if news gets out on what it is, no one will be happy."

"Should… I travel with you, then?" Leliana asked. "If it's trust you want, it sounds like Cul-"

"No. Definitely not him…" she dismissed. "The man's been through too much with magic, the last thing I want to do is drag him through more."

"So this is a… magical issue?" Leliana pressed.

"Kind of," she replied. When the other woman frowned at her. "I'm worried about what things will happen if the exact details get out. Leli, I love you, but this is looking out for you and recruiting you too."

"So… secrets are… more reasonable than the truth to a friend?" Leliana asked.

"Yes, in this case. If it gets out, it may make what's already a bad situation worse. I have a feeling it coincides with Ariadne's… thing too, so it'll come to a head, it just can't yet. I need your word that you won't tell anyone."

"You have my word- unless things change and not knowing becomes worse than knowing," Leliana agreed.

"Fair enough, and believe me, if it starts going that way, I'll be the one giving details myself. Thank you."

Leliana nodded. "I trust you with my life. You're one of my best friends. But please don't make me regret this."

"I won't. I promise."


	7. Chapter 7

Solona returned a matter of days later, Cullen went through a range of emotions in the mere first few minutes of her being in the vicinity of Skyhold. He had been relieved to see her in one piece and happy, judging from her laugh at whatever Dirk had just said. When she left she was pale and couldn't bring herself to even smile. Something was desperately wrong and it hurt him that she woudn't come to him about it. Worse yet it was like she was deliberately going to other people about it and not him. That was what had kept him on watch by the battlements over the front gate when she had gotten back.

It had been a few minutes and most of the residents had come to greet her and talk there as Leliana, Dirk and Arron departed on their own way.

It wasn't that he wasn't relieved to see her alive and well, and it wasn't meant to visibly snub her, but he assumed distance would be his friend there.

But his own happiness was short lived when he saw another person coming a matter of feet away. His archers had panicked and immediately started to set up shots. Leliana, on the other hand walked forward a few feet away, seemed to recognize the stranger and immediately called off the archers, going as far as throwing a dagger at the one who was so deep in concentration that he hadn't caught the order.

Solona turned to see what the commotion was about, and Cullen couldn't make out what she had said, but he watched her when she ran to the stranger and tossed her arms around him, and the stranger was more than happy to return the hug.

Cullen's heart sank when the stranger kissed her to boot. His eyes were glued to her reaction, and her grip on the stranger tightened and looked uncomfortable for a minute, but she was still grinning from ear to ear and she started talking to him quietly.

"You have nothing to worry about with him, you know…"

Cullen jumped, then turned to see Leliana right beside him. She spared him a glance before looking back down at the stranger. She waved when the elf in question looked up.

"Leliana! My lovely murder goddess! I would recognize you anywhere! How fare you?" the stranger called up.

"Fine, Zevran, but curious as to why you're here!" Leliana called back.

"A matter to which I will have to discuss with your people!" Zevran, the elf, replied.

"Then come in- soldiers, open the gate!" Leliana called. She turned her attention back to Cullen. "His eyes are not at all on Lona," she continued.

"What- why would that matter?" Cullen blurted and straightened out.

Leliana laughed. "Do you really think those requisitions officers are just there to tell our people to get things they can easily get themselves? That I wouldn't hear about a particular event by a quarry before things went downhill?"

Cullen opened and shut his mouth for a while. "I- I- it's- we haven't..." he stopped and inhaled sharply, and it was enough to get his professional facade up. "My duties and hers will not be-"

"Cullen…" Leliana immediately stopped laughing and touched his arm reassuringly. "Do not fret. Lona is one of my best friends. You are a good man. Both of you have been through so much pain, you deserve some semblance of happiness- together or not. And from what I understand, it's about damn time for you two. Besides…" he leaned forward and nodded at the stranger. "Our visitor, the elf- he's an old friend too, and his attention is far more _invested_ in the _King and Queen_."

Cullen stared, then the pieces came together and he gawked at her. "You mean…"

"He's their most trusted advisor for a _reason_."

"_That's_ the former Crow?" Cullen asked and sized up the elf again. He paused. "And a Crow would be okay with the spymaster releasing a secret like that of his?"

"If he likes you and assumes Kat and Alistair would like you, he doesn't exactly bother hiding his affections, so it's not much of a secret. And I couldn't not say anything after you pulled that face."

"He kissed her!" he insisted and then flinched at how immature he sounded over it.

Leliana laughed. "It's his way. She had a crush back in the day and he was the kind who respected it until other feelings got in the way." She looked at him. "You're still smitten. It's kind of cute."

"So… encouraging it is his way? It's not fair to anyone," Cullen replied. "And… it's not 'smitten'… per se."

"It's the way that he does it that people don't mind it. It's not exactly encouraging as much as it's honoring. Once you meet him, you'll understand."

He wasn't exactly sure if he wanted to, Leliana's pep talk aside, but he had a feeling that was as much of an assurance as an invitation. He sighed. "Fine, I'll go see to his arrival."

"See to her, too."

"Oh, quiet..." he backed up, then headed for the stairs closest to the gate. He made it down them, then walked over to them and offered a short bow to Solona before he eyed Zevran before he turned his attneion back to her. "Solona…". He had no idea where the boldness came from, but he stepped closer to Solona and ran his hand over her hip briefly and then turned to Zevran again. "Who's this?"

Solona arched an eyebrow at him at first, then looked pointedly at his hand that hadn't moved, and to his own surprised she leaned into the touch after a moment. She smiled her old friend. The action didn't seem lost on him either, judging by the way his eyes flicked from Cullen's hand to her and she knew that knowing grin too well. She rolled her eyes. "Zevran, this is Command-"

"The one you were a heartbreaker for, yes, I do recall. Aged quite well, if I do say so myself."

Cullen's possessiveness dropped, as did his hand. "Excuse me?"

Solona looked as confused as he did, then frowned, understanding. She contemplated even explaining after a moment, then threw caution to the wind. "He was… at the Circle."

Cullen's frown deepened. He remembered now. He vaguely remembered the elf now. He had been mostly been silhouetted from the red glow around him. There had been something the elf had said after his confession that had made Solona full on shove the elf backward before she knelt as close to the barrier as she could to address him. He had a feeling that's why the newcomer looked much like the cat who ate the canary. "Ah…"

"So the… heartbreaking has stopped, judging by certain… actions?" the elf smirked. The action made Cullen ten times as uncomfortable as he had started to get after the aging comment.

"Zev…" Solona warned. "Which reminds me, you cut me off- if you don't remember, Cullen, the Commander of the Inquisition's forces. Cullen, this is Zevran Arainai."

Zevran did an over-exaggerated bow.

Solona sighed again, then more thoughts caught up with her. "Zev, not that I'm not relieved to see you, but what're you doing here? And have you so much as heard from Kat yet?"

To his credit, then elf's arrogance dropped. "Simply visiting and offering my services if they're needed. As for our Kat, I haven't, mi corazón…" he trailed off. He spotted Leliana making her way over and opened his arms for Leliana when she showed up. "You. Come."

Leliana laughed and hugged him. "I've been trying to get you here for ages. Of course you would come on your own time."

"Yes. But were you really worried I would let you two handle things on your own? Forget about the old days? For shame."

She smiled and looped her arm through his. "I could use a second opinion on certain missions. Why don't you come with me and we'll let these two go off on their own?"

Zevran offered a knowing smile that Cullen wanted to punch right off his face, winked, then let let Leliana lead him away.

Cullen waited a few moments, then turned to her. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

"I'm afraid not. What about our uh, common friend? Did she find our… cave dweller?"

Cullen nodded. "She did. I just don't think it… quite ended well…"

She frowned. "She didn't-"

He shook his. "Didn't harm him by the sound of it, but there may have been a talk that left hearts broken." She crossed her arms over her chest. "Poor thing. By the sound of things that's the last she needs- either of them, really. She's been through so much. I have little sympathy for him, but her... no one deserves any more pain than she's been through..." he shook his head. "Have you-"

"YOU!" came a new voice.

"Damn…" Cullen muttered. He ducked, just as Rhia came sailing down from the staircase into the main hall.

Solona stepped back and watched the sight to behold. Rhia rolled into her landing and bounced back before launching herself back at Cullen. Cullen, to his credit, blocked every single swing like she had done them all before.

After he blocked the swipes and then sidestepped to avoid a kick, Solona was convinced that Rhia had, in fact, done the attack quite a lot lately.

"Give. Me. The records!" Rhia insisted.

"No! Josephine's right! You're better off not having all the answers before you go!"

"Yes, but you said-"

"I'm a man surrounded by women do you really think my opinion would mean anything-"

Rhia slapped him lightly for that one before he could even finish the statement, then continued. "Well, being that you're the only one on my side with wanting to know the information-"

"I don't want to go because I'm not one to deal with nobility!" Cullen countered.

"I'm nobility!" Rhia objected.

"Right, and you're acting the part completely now."

"Because I don't want to muck this up! Amell, tell him!"

"I, uh- what's going on that's prompted this?" Solona asked. "Apparently being gone a matter of days really does shove one out of the loop."

Cullen sighed heavily "Orlesian Ball. It's the perfect place to gain allegances and show people we're not going to die out in a matter of weeks. Basically it's a bunch of ridiculously arrogant people in a small space playing the Game. I'm not at all in favor of going, literally everyone else is-"

Rhia scoffed.

"-Except Rhia and Dirk and some of the other companions."

"And I don't want to be caught unawares when I'm not just some noble family's youngest daughter who's 'ready to wed'!" Rhia objected. "Cullen, come on! I'm fine with going, I just need information!"

"We have enough to prepare for on our own with this thing. Go… make sure you know how to waltz properly or something," he countered.

"Right, because the dancing is the most important part of the damn thing…" she muttered.

Cullen opened his mouth.

She squinted at him. "Shut up, I know it actually is one of the most important things to focus on…" she sighed when he crossed his arms over his chest. "Fine!" she turned on her heel to look at Solona. "What about you? How'd your little quest go, and if it's done going, I could use a mage on my side there- especially one as famous as you."

"She'd be put in danger!" Cullen objected.

"I'm always in danger these days, Cullen," Solona corrected after a moment. "I didn't find what I was looking for, but being… around people playing the Game may work for me. Besides, if they'll start trouble, what's a small sheet of ice thin enough to not be noticed on overly waxed floors but enough to make them slip, hm?"

Rhia positively beamed at that. She threaded her elbow through the other woman's. "I like you. I think I'll keep you for future events like this. Cullen, can we keep her around after she's done with her own thing that's keeping her here? Please?"

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Back to the 'you two would be in constant danger' part…"

"Well, that's why us girls should stick together," Solona replied and put a hand over their linked elbows. "If it's just alliances we need the Inquisition will do best showing its big players. It shows we're not afraid of anything and we're stronger in numbers."

Rhia bounced on her heels. "Thank you!" She looked at Cullen. "So about that information…?"

"Get Leliana or Josephine to divulge it, if you can. I'm not doing it. I'm not risking you being… too aware there."

"Bu-"

"That's. Final," Cullen insisted.

"Fine," Rhia replied. "Well then, one of the Heroes of Ferelden and I have a Ball to prepare for. If you'll excuse us, Commander…" she took Solona's hand and dragged her away.

Solona, to her credit, turned as she was guided and offered an apologetic smile before she turned back and went shoulder to shoulder with Rhia, whispering something to the younger woman that got her to giggle.

Cullen watched them go, then heaved a sigh.

They were either going to be perfectly fine at the Ball, or fail spectacularly. There was no in between.

He just hoped they would all survive either outcome.


End file.
